Called the doctor and described what happened to Taylor. They said it sounds like a reflux incident and to watch her for another week and if it's not any better, he'd switch her medicine to another one. She seems to gag very easily. I've been keeping her upright...even sleeping in her boppy. Hope this phase passes quickly.
This morning I had a terrifying moment. I brought the babies down and was getting ready to feed them and I heard a louder than normal scream from Taylor. I looked at her and she was bright red. I didn't see any spit up which is usually what the scream is about...so I picked her up, put her over my knee and started patting her back with my palm like we were taught in infant CPR. She still hadn't made a sound.....so I turned her over to look at her and she was turning purple and getting stiff. I grabbed the aspirator and sucked out her nose and throat. Then I started hearing gargling. I kept patting the back and sucking out her mouth and nose....it seemed like an eternity but she started screaming. I kept thinking....I can't do this, should I call 911...then I remembered in our class to not leave them and keep trying. I never was so relieved to hear her scream. I was shaking and all but in tears. That was the scariest and longest moment of my life. She looked scared and was breathing heavy so I cuddled her and calmed her down. It happened fast in reality but seemed like forever. I changed her and she was hungry and ready to eat like nothing happened. I will never forget the look on her face. I panicked a little after I knew she was okay, called Nick and told him. I'm so glad I took that class and it makes me want to review it all again just in case. I hope to never have them choking like that again. Now of course I'm afraid to lay her down on her back. I thank God she got the scream out to let me know what was happening. Sigh.......these babies bring about emotions I thought I never had.
I love schedules. They make me feel like things are under control. I never was a schedule person. But now I've learned that schedules work. When the schedule is kept, the babies are happy and I'm happy. I can better get things done and the babies both hungry when I expect them to be. It's a win win. Of course I know there are instances when the schedule gets shifted. But I don't like it. lol It sorta panics me. I know they when it's on it works. It has been working so well and now we decided to try to change it. :( Nick suggested we try changing our schedule because he is feeling rushed in the morning and to see if the babies will sleep longer. So we tried it last night. I'm so tired. Any sort of change for me is tough on my sleep. I think Nick is feeling it as well today. We'll see how it goes...
This has been the schedule for about a month now I'd say:
8:30-9:30/10 I wake up to feed them. Then I play with them because they are VERY awake. I put the babies in the swing and bouncer in the bathroom and take a shower. Bring babies downstairs and check my email for freelance.
11:30-12:30/1 Feed them. Taylor gets her medicine. Eat lunch. This is sometimes when they nap the best. (Freelance, Dishes, Laundry)
2:30-3:30/4 Feed them. Play with them. (Freelance, Dishes, Laundry)
8:30-9:30 Feed them, Taylor gets her medicine. Nick helps with this one so sometimes it's only until 9. Sometimes they get baths after this.
9:30/10 or so Bedtime, we usually play with them a little when they are in their cribs...I then take a bath, clean up around the house from the day. I usually end up in bed by 11. Nick goes to bed with the babies. lol As soon as he can.
Somedays I get nothing done other than tending to the babies, other days I'm able to do freelance, dishes, laundry and this blog. lol
1:30-2:30/3:00 Feed the babies. Lights low. Go back to bed.
5:30-6:30 Nick feeds the babies and I'm able to sleep through the feeding! Well I try anyhow.
The I wake up at 8:30 to do it all again! I liked this schedule. I felt rested.
Nick's thought is that he'll start the middle of the night feeding and then we'll let them sleep until they wake in the morning, when I'll feed them. That way we can let them go longer and longer if they can the first and second stretch at night. Makes sense. This morning, they were ready to eat at 6.........UGH........I'd rather do a 1:30 feeding then 6. I know Nick would much rather take the 6.....oh the sacrifices. lol Hopefully this will move the babies to sleeping longer.
Things change. Perceptions change. Bugs gross me out so much more now that the babies are here. They make my skin crawl now. Not that I was a bug-lover before but now I really don't like them. Those million leg, long bugs.....oooooo I hate those. The thought of them crawling on the babies freaks me out. At night when I'm feeding the babies from time to time I'll see them crawling across the floor........I HATE them.
Tornados. Yesterday we had a tornado warning in our area. Literally in our area. The red polygon on the news was right over us. In between Thomasville and New Salem. I normally like storms. Especially at night. I love to lay in bed and listen to them. This however was more than a normal storm and I felt this feeling of panic. I watched the news the whole time until they removed that red polygon. I was playing it out in my mind...babies, basement, blankets, formula. It ended up as only bad rain and thunder. Now I feel this responsibility of having to protect the babies. Now it's about keeping them safe.
Coffee. I loved coffee. I really did. I never was a big drinker, but loved a small cup every morning. Lots of cream and sugar. I had my first cup this morning. I didn't sleep well last night. I've been having a lot of joint pain. So I thought I'd make some coffee. It tasted gross. Made me sick to my stomach. It just doesn't taste the same.
Sleep. We all know sleep will never be the same. It's been quite some time now including my pregnancy filled with contractions. I hear everything the babies do. I think so anyhow. I wake up as soon as they start waking up. I hear every little stir. Nick can now successfully sleep through mild crying. I've always been a light sleeper but it's even more so now. If they are up, so am I.
Nick dropped the Explorer off for an oil change Friday morning and we forgot to call and check on it. We only have one set of keys (dumb on our part) and that meant the babies and I were "stranded" all weekend. Wow...did that start to get to me. I'm used to my breaks to go to the grocery store. I also had it in my mind that if their was an emergency, we didn't have car seats. Nick had his work car but it's stick and I can't drive stick. He at least was able to go to church but I'll tell ya what...I'm about nutty and dying for Nick to get home tonight so I can go get groceries. lol
We visited VIP (Visual Impact), my old employer. They just recently changed their name and they BLEW UP MY LOGO! lol CreataVivendi's website (If you click on the Visual Impact Productions link, that's the old site that I was apart of.) I borrowed Hannah, one of my small group girls to help me take the babies in. She was awesome. The girl makes me laugh and she loves to help and loves the babies. She had her STAFF tshirt because she came form work and they were teasing us that I had "STAFF". lol It was nice to visit my old work. It felt weird though at the same time. I was there for 11 years and because of that it feels like home but now many people are gone since I left and there are new people there and it felt awkward. I'd be the long time employee and it felt strange to not be a part of it any longer. I think it just hots you when you see things changing without you. It was so nice to see the original crew though. The babies were wide eyed. Taking it all in when we got there. It was pouring out when we left and it was fun getting those car seats out and inside. Hannah is a champ. She seriously can maneuver and lift. lol Barb, Brad, PJ, Shane, Chris and of course my boss Randy. Brad and PJ held Luke and Barb held both Luke and Taylor and they both fell asleep in her arms. Cute. I made Shane at least touch Luke before he ran off to get an engagement ring for his girlfriend. Life just flies by, doesn't it?
So I've officially sounded dumb with baby talk....I often wondered why people do that, is it really necessary? But when you see them smile....well, I get it now. It's been a rough week and those smiles make it bearable. Since the vaccines, they just haven't been back to normal. Taylor held on to her fever until Thursday, then Luke had a fever Saturday night until this morning. Last night he was screaming and miserable. On a better note, Taylor seems to be doing much better eating since we started the Zantac. The feedings with the medicine 2x/day go the best. I'm praying she keeps it up and gets back to normal eating.
We had a visit from Amy, Eric and Drew. It was really nice to have them over. Amy's due with a little boy August 20th. They have an awesome miracle story so check out her blog on the side column. It's amazing how God draws us close when we trust him. We're praying they have a HAPPY ending, even more miraculous then they imagine with this little boy. Pray she's able to deliver without another section and she and every other pregnant women I know wants to go at 38 weeks. lol I was very impressed though, she looks great! 36 weeks and was sitting on the floor and got up on HER OWN! I remember the one time I forgot and got down and COULDN'T get back up. That wasn't that close to the end either. lol Oh how it's nice to be able to breathe and move again.
We started getting bills from Luke and Taylor's birth and we noticed Taylor is TWICE as expensive. lol Is that a girl or what? They listed...Newborn Resuscitation for $240.00. They used an aspirator bulb on her and I guess that's resuscitation. It all happened so fast...I remember Luke screaming when he was born but Taylor came so quickly after that I didn't realize she didn't. Luke was only $116.00. We were also charged for an Evoked Auditory Test for $12.00.
Poor little Taylor is taking the vaccines harder than Luke. Last night Nick noticed she was really hot. We took her temperature and it was 102.2. I thought that was too high. I had stopped giving them Tylenol that morning, so I gave her more and called the doc. He said it was perfectly normal, to give her Tylenol for another 24 hrs and make sure her temperature doesn't get higher than 103.
Luke and Taylor went to their first restaurant. It was soooo nice to get out. It was perfect. We fed them at 5:30 and had til 8:30 to get back home. I went to Mary Janes when I was pregnant so they knew twins were coming. We told them we'd be back with them. It was great because it's close, the people there are nice, we got a BIG booth with plenty of room for their car seats, it wasn't busy and they slept.
Just getting back from the docs with Luke and Taylor and all is well. Dr. Zelis said they are FAAN-TAS-TIC! lol Luke has grown a lot which we knew. He's now 13lbs 2 oz. He's in the 75th percentile. lol Height: 23 - 50th percentile. I can't remember his head circumference but it was normal. Miss Taylor is still small but gaining and growing non the less. She's now 10lbs exactly and Height is 21-1/2. She's in the 10th percentile for height and weight and she has a VERY small head still! She's in the 3rd percentile for head circumference. Every one thinks Luke has a big head but he doesn't! Taylor's is just tiny. I've come to realize that they will always be compared like that. It's hard as a new parent...is "this" normal because one does and one doesn't...it just makes me realize HOW different they really are in every way. It was SOO adorable to see them sit on the scale. They can actually both sit up now in it. So cute, they are naked, sitting up and wide eyed. Taylor had an expression that she was very pleased with herself and Luke was just like, "What are they doing to me?" Cute. Taylor didn't stop peddling and punching the whole time we were there. Luke fell sleep in Nick's arms.
They got 4 shots today...yuck. I HATE that. Not only were they starving because the appt was at their feeding time but they had to get one oral vaccine and 4 shots. They had their 2 Hepatitis B shots and this time they got Polio, Pneumococcal, Diphtheria, Tetanus, Pertussis, Rotavirus and Hib. Dr. Zelis is so nice though, he does it as quickly and painless as possible. For them and us. He's a very patient doctor and answers all my questions without rushing. I like him a lot. He also has a 2 month old. He had a little boy right after Luke and Taylor were born. Anyhow... they both had their nuks since they were starving but they soon came out once the shots went in. Luke did his classic whimpering and Taylor her EXTREMELY LOUD SCREAM!!!
He told me to give them Tylenol when I got home. Taylor gets 0.6 and Luke gets 0.8. I got them home, fed them and gave them their doses. It's grape flavored and Taylor made a funny face as she wasn't sure about swallowing it. Luke however LOVED it. Was funny. He sucked on the dropper and wanted more. lol
We asked about formula because before he wanted them on Neosure at least until 10lbs. Since Taylor is still so tiny he wants to keep her on it for sure. He said he wouldn't mind keeping Luke on it but if we want to change him we can. He said to go to BJ's and get their brand because it's the same stuff with a different label. We talked to him about Taylor's feeding and how she acts like a maniac after the first 2 ounces. He gave us a prescription for Zantac to try if we want. I think I'll try it. If it helps it will be WELL worth it.
Their next docs appointment is at 4 months in September.
Mornings are becoming fun. After their morning bottle...I lay them in the crib beside each other without the divider between them and I talk to them. They are so alert. This morning I was leaning to the very right and to the very left and they were turning their heads wide eyed following me. I ducked down and they both were looking for me. So cute. I have to try and get that on video. Then I get them into a bouncer and swing while I get ready. Taylor in particular the last few days has been watching me very closely. I told Nick she's learning how to get ready. :) He didn't think that was funny.
Taylor sitting up on the couch. I've been propping her up beside me when she is awake. She loves it. A new perspective I suppose. She eventually slides and then cries...it's all the wiggling she does. She never stops wiggling and punching and grabbing. Of course Luke is getting good at pinching hard when he's hungry. There's some serious pinch power in that little hand!
152 (8 1/2 days)
(That was the cheapest I found on sale.)
Approx. 1 can/day
(cheapest at Kennies plus they have a $20 off $200 baby club)
Cuter and cuter every day. I know I'm a little partial but hey, I'm allowed. Luke has been "talking" more and more and Taylor was "talking" this morning. Last night Luke was up after his bath making sounds. It was so cute. I didn't want to go to bed...I wanted to keep "talking" to him. Taylor was all excited beside him listening. Then this morning after her morning bottle, she started. She was making sounds the whole time I was in the shower. They really stare at your face now, and they move their mouths while watching yours. So cute.
I honestly will be able to say that I didn't let a minute pass by without cherishing it. I watch them sleep at night and take them in...hoping I don't forget how sweet they are at every moment. Ya know, when I was pregnant, I would joke WHY do women do this AGAIN? Nick said to me the other night..."I think I know why,........they grow up so fast." I'd have to agree. I'm home with them everyday and I think it's flying. I can't imagine going to work all day and missing them. I'm so grateful we've made the sacrifices we have. We sold houses, cars and cut our income by more than half so I could stay home! Sure, I miss shopping, going out to eat, having a career.......but those things don't last....and they will never take the place of spending time with my babies. Luke and Taylor are an eternal investment and I'll never regret the sacrifices.
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Nick told me over the weekend that he was going to take the crib down in our room and set them up in their nursery. I told him I wasn't ready. I don't know what is "right" for them developmentally as far as sleeping on their own but I do know that I love waking up in the middle of the night and being able to do nothing more than open my eyes to see them. Sounds lazy, I guess, but I love to be able to see them breathe and touch them whenever I want. Nick says this is selfish of me but I know they won't be there long and I just want to cherish every moment.
Of course they didn't "talk" much once the video was running...but we have plenty of time to catch it in the future. :)
How fast time has passed. Babies are 2 months old today. We decided to take them to church today...we had to let them hear Jeremy preach! It was a little stressful for me at first...everyone wanting to see them. We kept them in their car seats to keep people from touching them and wanting to hold them. It worked out pretty well. We fed them at 9:30, the car ride put them to sleep and church was at 11. We were actually on time. It was hard getting to our seat but we got there. Taylor woke up screaming...no warning...just all out SCREAM! (sorry Jeremy) I thought for sure she was pooping with all the grunting she was doing. We forgot the diaper bag so Nick went out and got it and checked her. Just gas she was passing. :) Church wasn't over until 12:30 and that was their feeding time. Taylor was chomping on her pacifier, Luke was squirming but never really woke up. By the time we got some food and got them home, they ate an hour late. We'll see how that messes their schedule up. So far they are very moody and gassy. Any change just throws them for a loop.
Last night was a good night...they almost went 6 hours in between the night feeding. I went to bed at 10:30 and they woke me up at 3. That I can live with. We'll hope it keeps up. :)
We had another great night. I'm so excited and hope it lasts. We fed the babies at 8 pm, gave them baths and put them to bed. I took a bath myself which has been helping me sleep and went to bed. They slept until 1:30 am!!! Whoohoo! I fed them and went back to bed at 2:30ish and they slept until 5:00! Nick got up and fed them and they then woke up at their normal interval at 8:00. I can deal with that. That means I only have to get up once in the middle of the night. Noooo problem. :) Luke peed on his face again the poor guy. He was peeing AS I pulled the diaper off. Perfect arch to his face........AHH. No matter how slick I am with the diaper changing...he still can squeeze in a squirt. lol
The first story I read to Luke and Taylor. Aunt Kim got them this book.
Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away. So he said to his mother, “I am running away.” “If you run away,” said his mother, “I will run after you. For you are my little bunny.”
“If you run after me,” said the little bunny, “I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you.”
“If you become a fish in a trout stream,” said his mother, “I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you.”
“If you become a fisherman,” said the little bunny, “I will become a rock on the mountain, high above you.”
“If you become a rock on the mountain high above me,” said his mother, “I will become a mountain climber, and I will climb to where you are.”
“If you become a mountain climber,” said the little bunny, “I will be a crocus in a hidden garden.”
“If you become a crocus in a hidden garden,” said his mother, “I will be a gardener. And I will find you.”
“If you are a gardener and find me,” said the little bunny, “I will be a bird and fly away from you.”
“If you become a bird and fly away from me,” said his mother, “I will be a tree that you come home to.”
“If you become a tree,” said the little bunny, “I will become a little sailboat, and I will sail away from you.”
“If you become a sailboat and sail away from me,” said his mother, “I will become the wind and blow you where I want you to go.”
“If you become the wind and blow me,” said the little bunny, “I will join a circus and fly away on a flying trapeze.”
“If you go flying on a flying trapeze,” said his mother, “I will be a tightrope walker, and I will walk across the air to you.”
“If you become a tightrope walker and walk across the air,” said the bunny, “I will become a little boy and run into a house.”
“If you become a little boy and run into a house,” said the mother bunny, “I will become your mother and catch you in my arms and hug you.”
“Shucks,” said the bunny, “I might just as well stay where I am and be your little bunny.”
And so he did. “Have a carrot,” said the mother bunny.
I love this story because the relationship between Mother Bunny and her Little Bunny can easily be paralleled to the relationship God has with His children. No matter where the Little Bunny goes, where he tries to run away to or hide, what he attempts to become, Mother Bunny always knows how to find him and is right there for him. And in the end Little Bunny realizes being safe with Mother Bunny is the best place to be anyway. Just as God always knows where we are no matter how far we try to stray and one of His deepest desires is for us to come to the place of simply wanting to be “Little Bunnies.”
Psalm 139:7-10 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
Last night for the first time the babies slept 5 hours! :) We fed them at 9 and they didn't wake until 2! I hope that happens more consistently. :) I was so excited...I fed them at 2 and then Nick fed them at 5. That would be a great schedule if we could keep that up.
I finally got my hair done! :) Seems like a normal thing but I hadn't anything done since before I was pregnant. I had 6 inches of regrowth from strong blond highlights! I was starting to feel a bit redneckish and was pulling it back all the time to hide it. I feel more like myself again. No one really sees me much but I'm sure the babies like the new hair cut. lol I like that they can't grab and pull my hair. :)
I've really been thinking about just how fortunate we've been with these little miracles we have. I've seen stories of twins born way early with all sorts of health issues. Who would have thought I'd carry them 36 weeks and they'd have NO breathing problems. Who wouldn't thought that I wouldn't have a section....I'd be able to "room in" with them for a week in the hospital...they wouldn't have to be in the NICU at all....they would come home together...they'd gain a pound a week for 4 weeks straight after they came home...on and on......we've been so blessed. All I can say is all the prayers were answered. There were so many praying for Luke and Taylor and it was an amazing experience. I had them on the bed the other morning and I was getting a little sappy. I was thinking about how quickly time passes. It's not going to be long that I'll be able to play with their legs and feet and cuddle them close. They will be teenagers before I know it. :) I enjoy every little thing...their soft skin, their eye contact, funny expressions. I enjoy every minute of being here with them. I can't imagine leaving them for a job. This is my job. This is what I'm supposed to do. At times of course I feel inadequate, but God has made me feel a confidence I never felt before. I never even changed a diaper before, never really held babies but for a minute and an uncomfortable minute at that...and now...here I am with TWO. I have always considered myself to be an impatient person...and it's something I've had to work on...and somehow with these babies I have patience. I'm sure that will be tested once they crawl and enter the terrible twos...but God will give me what I need then too.