Scariest Thing Ever

This morning I had a terrifying moment. I brought the babies down and was getting ready to feed them and I heard a louder than normal scream from Taylor. I looked at her and she was bright red. I didn't see any spit up which is usually what the scream is about...so I picked her up, put her over my knee and started patting her back with my palm like we were taught in infant CPR. She still hadn't made a sound.....so I turned her over to look at her and she was turning purple and getting stiff. I grabbed the aspirator and sucked out her nose and throat. Then I started hearing gargling. I kept patting the back and sucking out her mouth and nose....it seemed like an eternity but she started screaming. I kept thinking....I can't do this, should I call 911...then I remembered in our class to not leave them and keep trying. I never was so relieved to hear her scream. I was shaking and all but in tears. That was the scariest and longest moment of my life. She looked scared and was breathing heavy so I cuddled her and calmed her down. It happened fast in reality but seemed like forever. I changed her and she was hungry and ready to eat like nothing happened. I will never forget the look on her face. I panicked a little after I knew she was okay, called Nick and told him. I'm so glad I took that class and it makes me want to review it all again just in case. I hope to never have them choking like that again. Now of course I'm afraid to lay her down on her back. I thank God she got the scream out to let me know what was happening. Sigh.......these babies bring about emotions I thought I never had.