This morning I had a terrifying moment. I brought the babies down and was getting ready to feed them and I heard a louder than normal scream from Taylor. I looked at her and she was bright red. I didn't see any spit up which is usually what the scream is about...so I picked her up, put her over my knee and started patting her back with my palm like we were taught in infant CPR. She still hadn't made a sound.....so I turned her over to look at her and she was turning purple and getting stiff. I grabbed the aspirator and sucked out her nose and throat. Then I started hearing gargling. I kept patting the back and sucking out her mouth and nose....it seemed like an eternity but she started screaming. I kept thinking....I can't do this, should I call 911...then I remembered in our class to not leave them and keep trying. I never was so relieved to hear her scream. I was shaking and all but in tears. That was the scariest and longest moment of my life. She looked scared and was breathing heavy so I cuddled her and calmed her down. It happened fast in reality but seemed like forever. I changed her and she was hungry and ready to eat like nothing happened. I will never forget the look on her face. I panicked a little after I knew she was okay, called Nick and told him. I'm so glad I took that class and it makes me want to review it all again just in case. I hope to never have them choking like that again. Now of course I'm afraid to lay her down on her back. I thank God she got the scream out to let me know what was happening. Sigh.......these babies bring about emotions I thought I never had.
I love schedules. They make me feel like things are under control. I never was a schedule person. But now I've learned that schedules work. When the schedule is kept, the babies are happy and I'm happy. I can better get things done and the babies both hungry when I expect them to be. It's a win win. Of course I know there are instances when the schedule gets shifted. But I don't like it. lol It sorta panics me. I know they when it's on it works. It has been working so well and now we decided to try to change it. :( Nick suggested we try changing our schedule because he is feeling rushed in the morning and to see if the babies will sleep longer. So we tried it last night. I'm so tired. Any sort of change for me is tough on my sleep. I think Nick is feeling it as well today. We'll see how it goes...
This has been the schedule for about a month now I'd say:
8:30-9:30/10 I wake up to feed them. Then I play with them because they are VERY awake. I put the babies in the swing and bouncer in the bathroom and take a shower. Bring babies downstairs and check my email for freelance.
11:30-12:30/1 Feed them. Taylor gets her medicine. Eat lunch. This is sometimes when they nap the best. (Freelance, Dishes, Laundry)
2:30-3:30/4 Feed them. Play with them. (Freelance, Dishes, Laundry)
8:30-9:30 Feed them, Taylor gets her medicine. Nick helps with this one so sometimes it's only until 9. Sometimes they get baths after this.
9:30/10 or so Bedtime, we usually play with them a little when they are in their cribs...I then take a bath, clean up around the house from the day. I usually end up in bed by 11. Nick goes to bed with the babies. lol As soon as he can.
Somedays I get nothing done other than tending to the babies, other days I'm able to do freelance, dishes, laundry and this blog. lol
1:30-2:30/3:00 Feed the babies. Lights low. Go back to bed.
5:30-6:30 Nick feeds the babies and I'm able to sleep through the feeding! Well I try anyhow.
The I wake up at 8:30 to do it all again! I liked this schedule. I felt rested.
Nick's thought is that he'll start the middle of the night feeding and then we'll let them sleep until they wake in the morning, when I'll feed them. That way we can let them go longer and longer if they can the first and second stretch at night. Makes sense. This morning, they were ready to eat at 6.........UGH........I'd rather do a 1:30 feeding then 6. I know Nick would much rather take the 6.....oh the sacrifices. lol Hopefully this will move the babies to sleeping longer.
Things change. Perceptions change. Bugs gross me out so much more now that the babies are here. They make my skin crawl now. Not that I was a bug-lover before but now I really don't like them. Those million leg, long bugs.....oooooo I hate those. The thought of them crawling on the babies freaks me out. At night when I'm feeding the babies from time to time I'll see them crawling across the floor........I HATE them.
Tornados. Yesterday we had a tornado warning in our area. Literally in our area. The red polygon on the news was right over us. In between Thomasville and New Salem. I normally like storms. Especially at night. I love to lay in bed and listen to them. This however was more than a normal storm and I felt this feeling of panic. I watched the news the whole time until they removed that red polygon. I was playing it out in my mind...babies, basement, blankets, formula. It ended up as only bad rain and thunder. Now I feel this responsibility of having to protect the babies. Now it's about keeping them safe.
Coffee. I loved coffee. I really did. I never was a big drinker, but loved a small cup every morning. Lots of cream and sugar. I had my first cup this morning. I didn't sleep well last night. I've been having a lot of joint pain. So I thought I'd make some coffee. It tasted gross. Made me sick to my stomach. It just doesn't taste the same.
Sleep. We all know sleep will never be the same. It's been quite some time now including my pregnancy filled with contractions. I hear everything the babies do. I think so anyhow. I wake up as soon as they start waking up. I hear every little stir. Nick can now successfully sleep through mild crying. I've always been a light sleeper but it's even more so now. If they are up, so am I.
Nick dropped the Explorer off for an oil change Friday morning and we forgot to call and check on it. We only have one set of keys (dumb on our part) and that meant the babies and I were "stranded" all weekend. Wow...did that start to get to me. I'm used to my breaks to go to the grocery store. I also had it in my mind that if their was an emergency, we didn't have car seats. Nick had his work car but it's stick and I can't drive stick. He at least was able to go to church but I'll tell ya what...I'm about nutty and dying for Nick to get home tonight so I can go get groceries. lol
We visited VIP (Visual Impact), my old employer. They just recently changed their name and they BLEW UP MY LOGO! lol CreataVivendi's website (If you click on the Visual Impact Productions link, that's the old site that I was apart of.) I borrowed Hannah, one of my small group girls to help me take the babies in. She was awesome. The girl makes me laugh and she loves to help and loves the babies. She had her STAFF tshirt because she came form work and they were teasing us that I had "STAFF". lol It was nice to visit my old work. It felt weird though at the same time. I was there for 11 years and because of that it feels like home but now many people are gone since I left and there are new people there and it felt awkward. I'd be the long time employee and it felt strange to not be a part of it any longer. I think it just hots you when you see things changing without you. It was so nice to see the original crew though. The babies were wide eyed. Taking it all in when we got there. It was pouring out when we left and it was fun getting those car seats out and inside. Hannah is a champ. She seriously can maneuver and lift. lol Barb, Brad, PJ, Shane, Chris and of course my boss Randy. Brad and PJ held Luke and Barb held both Luke and Taylor and they both fell asleep in her arms. Cute. I made Shane at least touch Luke before he ran off to get an engagement ring for his girlfriend. Life just flies by, doesn't it?