I Miss Church- 33 Weeks

I'm doing much better adjusting to being at home. I miss church more than anything. I've been battling in my mind whether that wouldn't be considered a "docs appt"...to me it's more important. With Nick teaching the 2-3 year olds at the first service, I would have to drive to the second which I know isn't a good idea with how this medicine makes me feel. Then I think about the drive there, parking, walking and sitting without my feet up. I really miss worship. Tonight I'm gonna watch last weeks service on TV. Pathway now has their services online as well. click here>> I miss youth group and small group too. I miss the kids. They still keep in contact with me via cell phone and the internet but it's not the same. I think of the shut ins that can't get to church and I'm realizing how hard it is. It's something that keeps me going and without it it's much harder to stay focused and easy to get self absorbed, which always makes you feel blah. 

I was an idiot last night. I looked at the clock when I went to get up and I thought it said 2:30 and instead my pillow was in the way and it was 12:30. I took my medicine too early which freaked me out since it lowers my blood pressure. I called the doc on call to see if I should do anything and she said to just go back to sleep and to be careful getting up since I'd most likely be dizzy. I couldn't fall asleep and in about an hour I felt awful. I felt like I was floating in space, had ringing in my ears, and a headache. I will never make that mistake again. 

I'm trying to eat more since I'd lost weight, I'll tell ya though it's challenging. I'm just not hungry anymore. 

Nick was so glad when his Dad and Mom brought his boxing belt over that was MIA. The only thing it's not obnoxiously big for is my belly. lol Nick got a kick out of it anyhow. 

Docs Appt & Monitoring, April 11, 2008, 32 weeks

Frustrated. Emotionally and physically I'm spent. This medication is making me feel awful, my ribs are killing me and I feel like I can't breathe! I haven't had more than a 1/2 hr of sleep in weeks now. The contractions wake me up consistently. I had the babies monitored today and they are moving and shaking as usual. They had trouble finding the girl's heartbeat which had me a little worried but it ended up being low and way off onto my side. I don't know what she's doing in there. I had 2 contractions while on the monitor but that was it. My swelling went down and I'm thankful for that. :) My blood pressure was good at the docs but it changes so much depending on when I take the medicine. It's hard to tell whether it's my blood pressure or not because of the symptoms I'm having from this medicine. I'm very short of breath today and feel dizzy and my vision is strange too. My depth perception isn't right. I lost weight this time. I weighed 123. She asked me why and I told her I feel full and have so much pressure and I guess I'm not eating as much. I've throw up a few times because of the acid reflux but not enough to make me lose weight. She told me to eat every 2 hrs and try to eat lots of protein. I don't have the appetite I did there for awhile and I think feeling like a zombie isn't really helping. I asked the doctor today how long they would keep me on this medicine and she said until 36-37 weeks. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I told her maternal fetal told me that they would let me go into labor after 34 weeks. She said they wouldn't aggressively stop it after 34 weeks. She said they also take maternal fetal's advice from what they think and see on the ultrasounds as well. The doc tried to feel what positions the babies were in but said at this point it's really hard to tell because they are tight in there. NO KIDDING! I have another stress test/baby monitor appt on tuesday and then an ultrasound on wednesday. Next docs appt is in 2 weeks. She said I can call in the meantime with any problems. Mom and Dad came down to drive me to my appt today. I don't feel like I should drive as weird as I feel. The medicine says not to as well. We ate at Mary Janes on the way back and it was nice to sit in a restaurant with them for a little. Mom brought leftovers the other night and a few friends from church dropped of some stuff for me to reheat which is really nice! That will help as far as eating some good solid food. I keep trying to focus on the babies and this is all to make them the healthiest they can be............I'll tell you what though..........it's easy for other people to say that when they aren't the one in pain without sleep, breath or energy! Lord help me, it's one of those days. :) 

32 Weeks, 4 days and counting

Swelling & Hiccups

I don't think I like this medicine Nifedipine. All the sudden my ankles are really swollen! It's a side effect of the medicine. I'm feeling shaky and short of breath too. It's kinda weird the side effects are pregnancy side effects too....as if they need enhanced. lol Heartburn, bleeding gums, constipation, dizziness, weakness, swelling, headache and more. lol I might call the doc and ask about the swelling...I've been cutting salt back but it's stubborn. I go to the docs on Friday for a regular appt and baby monitoring. 

Now that I know for sure what the hiccuping is, it's funny, the boy does it a lot. Nick felt it....he gets a serious case of them and it vibrates my belly. It's pretty amazing.

First Hospital Stay

My uterus is giving up although praise God my cervix is holding strong. Thursday was a day full of contractions. Random ones sometimes 5 mins apart and some getting stronger throughout the day. Thursday night I was having the stronger contractions that woke me up every 1/2 hr. Friday, I kept having contractions ranging in times. By 7 I'd have a few hours of strong ones 5 minutes apart. So I called the doc of call and it was the doctor that was mean. lol He told me to come to the hospital and to be prepared to spend the night. When I got there he checked my cervix and it was still closed....very good news. My uterus however is tired of stretching and carrying these babies and my body thinks it's time to go into labor. They put me on monitors for the contractions and for each baby. I continued to have 5 min contractions. The babies were doing well though with varied heart rates with their movement which is what they look for and their heart rates weren't dropping due to the contractions which is really good. They came in and brought me a big mug of water which they wanted me to drink as fast as I could without getting sick. I started on that and told the nurse that we hadn't had a chance to eat dinner and she asked if I wanted anything and I joked that ice cream would be great. She was so nice, she brought both Nick and I ice cream. The contractions continued . . . next they brought me medicine and an IV. The medicine  (Nifedipine) is supposed to make my uterus relax and calm the contractions. There was a student nurse helping and the main nurse asked if I was freaked out by blood and needles. I said no and she had the student nurse administer my IV. That was interesting. :) The girl was so sweet though and the nurse was so nice. At first she couldn't get a vein to pop and I asked her to take the bands off to me to get feeling in my arm again for a sec. lol Then she tried again and the nurse found one to use. She put the needle in and was moving it around trying to get the vein. The nurse was telling her not to roll under it. Then once she got it in she was afraid to push in it too far. lol The nurse kept telling her to push it in further. I was just thinking to myself that anyone with needle/blood issues would have passed out by now. Then she gets it in deep enough and she goes to draw some blood before attaching the IV and she forgets to clamp it and blood started squirting out every where. lol I noticed then that neither of them had gloves on. The other nurse attached the tube quickly. Then she attaches the IV and it keeps beeping saying there are bubbles. I thought of my brother because he always freaks out about air being in the IV. They kept tapping it and clamping it and got it going. She was so nice that it was hard to even tease her much about it. After all the blood was cleaned up, they and the contractions continued, they came in again. The student told me I was gonna really love her now. She had to give me a shot. lol Since my contractions wouldn't slow down they decided to give me a shot of betamethasone which is a steroid to help the babies lungs develop in case I gave birth within the next 48 hrs. That kinda freaked me out. I asked why since my cervix wasn't opening, but they said they wanted to do it in case as a "vitamin" of sorts. They told me it would but that shot stung more then any I've had. lol I thought it would be the quick sting of it going in but it kept stinging down my leg. The girl did very well at the shot and it was quick. :) So they decided at this point that we were staying the night, so they were trying to free up a regular room for us. We got settled in there and they came back to give me another dose of the medicine. They checked my blood pressure first and it had dropped to 80/50 which apparently was from the medicine. They held off another 2 hrs and my blood pressure came back up. They took the babies off the monitor in hopes that I would be able to sleep and gave me a sleeping pill. My contractions continued every 5 minutes until 6 am when they slowed down. I didn't get a blink of rest until then. The 4 bags of IV helped with my bathroom visits as well although honestly I think I am up almost the same at home. The nurse brought me some food at 5 am and I was starving. I had two bowls of cereal and felt better. I slept from 6-8 am and the contractions didn't wake me. She said I was still having them but they were significantly smaller. They decided to monitor the babies a little and then send me home. They didn't have much luck keeping the babies on the monitor because they were in there having a party. They were happy the contractions were calmed too I'm sure. I did get to hear the boys hiccups which was really cool. I know what that feels like now. He was hiccupping for a long time this morning. Anyhow, the doctor came in to see me and said he was calling in a prescription for the nifedipine for me and I am supposed to take that every 6 hours. He said he wasn't going to put me on bed rest but he wants me resting at home and getting up for small things around the house. He said the only thing I should be doing is resting at home and going to my docs appts. It didn't hit me until after he left but that means not leaving the house!!! I went home and slept a little. I started having contractions again but then they eased up. I feel like I gained a lot of water weight from those IV's. My ankles have been swollen since. They told me to drink, drink, drink. So I'm trying my best. I don't want these contractions to send me in there until another 2 weeks are up. I asked the doc how to know when to come in since I'm having them so much. He said it's hard to say. He said I made the right choice to come in this time and he said if the same thing happens again where the stronger contractions won't settle to come in again. He said it may take a few times of this and next time it may mean stronger medicine in my IV that would keep me in the hospital a few days. I don't like the sound of that. I'd read that the stronger medicine makes the mother really sick. I'm hoping things don't progress to that over these next 2 weeks. I keep saying 2 weeks because maternal fetal medicine told me if I go into labor after 34 weeks they won't stop it. I'm guessing the docs I go to are on the same page. I hope they are anyhow. Soooo....last night, contractions every 1/2 hr and this morning every 5 mins again. I'm drinking lots to try and get them to slow down and I just took my medicine. Contractions, settle already! I think those steroids beefed the babies up....lol....I've noticed my belly is now resting on my lap..........getting bigger and bigger.

Tired- end of 31 weeks

The last few days are really testing me. I've had lots of contractions. They are waking me up at night now and are getting stronger. I've got the round ligament pain back at night again. I haven't slept for more than a 1/2 hr for the past few days. I'm either up to pee or with a contraction. It's so hard to know when to go to the hospital. Thursday, I was at a church meeting and I was having contractions every 10 mins that went to every 5 mins. I went home and laid down and they dwindled off. Last night however they were all over the place. I was having strong one as well as smaller ones in between the strong ones and they didn't let up when I laid down. I had them all night. I've been having sharp pain in my belly button...it literally feels like my belly button skin is ripping from the inside. I can't get relief from it. I'm having a lot of rib pain again as well. I did take a tylenol PM at 5 am this morning and I was able to sleep until about 7. That was much needed. I've noticed all the sudden that I have all these new veins in my feet. Where did they come from? They are every where! I told Nick that I'm tired of being pregnant now. To think that I'm 2 months away from my 40 week due date is nuts. There is no way! lol I'm praying this is just one of those stretching phases and I feel better soon. At this point I can't stand without a contraction, bumps in the car are painful and I think the weight of my belly is really getting to me. Hopefully the babies are gaining what they need to to be healthy. These babies got at least 2 more weeks to stay put. I was thinking about it last night and it really has been a miracle that I've been able to carry double the weight of a normal pregnancy this long. Two normal weight babies, two placentas, two sacs full of amniotic fluid, two times the blood volume throughout my body plus the fluid gain. That's pretty amazing for a small framed 100lb body. God really blessed me through this pregnancy with being able to handle it. I honestly didn't know if I'd make it to 32 weeks. It was a big sacrifice for us financially for me to stop working but I know that was huge as far as me getting the rest I need and being able to maintain my health. I wouldn't have been able to work for some time now anyhow but I think even those early months were crucial for me to be able to take it easy.

Kicks! It's crazy how strong these little boogers are getting. I've noticed they seem to kick at the same time now so hopefully they are on a similar wake/sleep schedule. There is not as much room as there used to be and they are popping out every where and kicking hard enough to hurt. 

20 Things I Took for Granted b4 Pregnancy (in no particular order)

1. Sleep - more than a 1/2 hour at a time
   
2. Dressing - while standing and not falling
   
3. Bending - and actually reaching the object I dropped
   
4. Breathing - a full lung full
   
5. Hugging - my husband and feeling his belly instead of mine
   
6. Standing - without contractions
   
7. Sitting - without an entourage of pillows
   
8. Baths - with hot water and the ability to get in and out of the tub
   
9. Eye contact - with people without the constant gaze at my belly
   
10. Pedicures - in which I can actually reach my own feet
    
11. Belly button - that goes in instead of out
    
12. Lunch meat - the cold kind
    
13. Clothes - the ones that fit before the belly
    
14. Restasis - my dry eye medicine
    
15. Thighs - that supported my body and were in plain sight
    
16. Heels - and the balance to wear them
    
17. Grease & Tomato sauce - late at night with no heartburn
    
18. Back - laying on it while breathing and without pain
    
19. Chillin - because I want to not because I have to
    
20. Pee - the ability to hold it in general especially while laughing